(And Other Marketing Phrases That Need to Die)

Let’s talk about those cringe-worthy phrases you’re using to market your venue. Whether this blog makes you feel called out, laugh, or cry, I just hope it wins you more couples after you fix your copy.

The “Hidden Gem” Lie

If your venue shows up on Google, it’s not hidden. If you have an Instagram account, it’s not hidden. If you’re running Facebook ads… you get the point.

Stop pretending your venue is some secret treasure that couples can only find by following a series of cryptic clues like they’re in National Treasure. You’re a business, not a buried pirate ship.

The “Affordable Luxury” Oxymoron

Pick a lane, bestie. You’re either:

  • Affordable (and that’s okay!)
  • Luxury (and that’s also okay!)
  • Confused about what words mean

But you can’t be both. That’s like saying “budget Bentley” or “bargain Bulgari.” Stop trying to make “affordable luxury” happen. It’s not going to happen.

The “Perfect For Any Event” Desperation

Your rustic barn venue is not perfect for:

  • Black-tie galas
  • Corporate conferences
  • EDM raves
  • Medieval jousting tournaments
  • Space shuttle launches

And that’s OKAY. Stop trying to be everything to everyone. You’ll end up being nothing to anyone.

The “Unique and Intimate” Epidemic

Things that are actually unique:

  • Fingerprints
  • Snowflakes
  • DNA sequences

Things that are not unique:

  • Your venue’s Mason jar chandelier
  • That wall of Edison bulbs
  • Your “vintage-inspired” decor
  • Your “Instagram-worthy” backdrop
  • Your “one-of-a-kind” experience

The “Magical” Manifestation

Unless you’ve got actual wizards on staff or Harry Potter is your venue manager, let’s cool it with:

  • “Where dreams come true”
  • “Magical moments await”
  • “Enchanted settings”
  • “Where magic happens”
  • “A magical experience”

The only magic happening is how quickly these phrases make couples’ eyes roll.

The “Rustic Elegance” Confusion

You know what’s rustic?

  • Actual working barns
  • Real farmhouses
  • Genuine country properties

You know what’s elegant?

  • Ballrooms
  • Classic estates
  • Grand hotels

Pick. A. Lane.

The “Budget-Friendly” Backfire

When you say “budget-friendly,” couples hear:

  • “We’re cheap”
  • “We cut corners”
  • “We’re desperate”
  • “We’re not in demand”
  • “We don’t value ourselves”

Is that really the message you want to send?

The “Customizable Packages” Cop-Out

Translation: “We have no idea how to price our value, so we’re leaving it up to you to tell us what you want to pay.”

Words That Need to Be Retired Immediately

  • Bespoke (unless you’re a tailor)
  • Curated (unless you’re a museum)
  • Trendy (unless you want to sound dated in 6 months)
  • Pinterest-worthy (unless it’s 2015)
  • Insta-worthy (unless you hate yourself)

What to Say Instead

Instead of: “Hidden gem” Try: “Thoughtfully designed venue in [specific location]”

Instead of: “Affordable luxury” Try: “Intentionally designed experiences starting at $X”

Instead of: “Perfect for any event” Try: “Specialized in [specific type] celebrations”

Instead of: “Unique and intimate” Try: “Carefully crafted for celebrations of up to X guests”

The Bottom Line

Stop trying to be everything to everyone. Start being something specific to someone specific.

Your venue doesn’t need to be:

  • A hidden gem
  • Affordable luxury
  • Perfect for everyone
  • Magically unique
  • Rustic-elegant-modern-classic-vintage

It needs to be:

  • Clear about its value
  • Confident in its pricing
  • Specific about its ideal clients
  • Honest about its style
  • True to its identity

Ready to stop sounding like every other venue?

P.S. If you’ve used any of these phrases in the last week, don’t worry. We’ve all been there. But now that you know better, do better. Your marketing (and your soul) will thank you.